Ego Is On Your Team
The functioning of Ego itself might seem paradoxical. But when dealt with properly, as I'll explain below, your ego becomes an ally and a force to leverage for your own success. Here is how.
The Paradox of the Ego (and how to solve it)
In popular culture, the ego is frequently portrayed as a destructive force. It is frequently associated with arrogance, vanity, and a lack of humility. This conception of the ego, however, is inadequate and fails to represent its fundamental essence. In truth, the ego is a useful instrument that we can leverage. In this post, we will look at the ego paradox and how we may use it to improve our sense of self.
The Paradox of the Ego
Our decisions shape our ego, yet our ego also shapes our future decisions. This is called the ego paradox. As we make decisions and take action, we establish a sense of ourselves that is informed by our past experiences. This feeling of self, or ego, shapes our decisions and actions in the future.
The ego, on the other hand, is not a fixed entity. It is a living, breathing entity that may be molded and reformed over time.
"The ego is a complex which contains several psychic functions that work together in a relatively autonomous way."
- Carl Jung
This suggests that our ego is not a single thing, but rather a set of psychological processes that interact to create our sense of self.
The Ego as A Tool
The Ego is a tool that can assist us in communicating with our subconscious desires. When we think of the ego as a bad force, we confuse it with our subconscious mind. This error might cause us to lose control of our minds and start living on autopilot.
Our ideas about ourselves, the world, and other people can have a big impact on our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Because we prefer to behave in ways that corroborate our views while filtering out information that contradicts them, our beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies.
For example, if we believe we are not good enough, we may experience anxiety and self-consciousness in social circumstances, leading us to avoid social events altogether. This avoidance can reinforce our notion that we are not good enough by preventing us from having pleasant social experiences that could challenge this belief.
If we believe that our ego is a negative force that must be controlled, we may acquire a negative self-concept and regard ourselves as weak or helpless. This poor self-concept can have an impact on our behavior and decision-making because we may avoid taking chances or chasing opportunities that require us to assert ourselves or take on leadership roles.
As Freud proposed, the ego is the messenger between our consciousness and subconscious. It is also a sense of self-worth. The ego, in this sense, is a conscious idea that communicates with our subconscious. Because the subconscious mind is incapable of thinking by itself and instead reacts to external stimuli, it is incapable of supporting a concept and idea as complex as the ego. As a result, viewing the ego as a bad force might weaken us by denying a portion of our conscious minds.
What to do?
Keeping ourselves in check and continually questioning our subconscious inclinations is an ego-boosting practice.
Consider this:
We may develop our sense of self and shape our ego to better serve us by being conscious of our thoughts and behaviors.
However, there is a risk of becoming skeptical, doubting ourselves, and overthinking. To address this potential risk, we need to systemize self-reflection through journaling or other ways that indicate a dedicated time period of the day where one can reassess their decisions and cognitive processes. This provides us with a greater sense of clarity and self-awareness in the long run, helping us to lessen our subconscious urges and exercise greater self-control.
The Value of Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is an important skill for growing our concept of self and for bolstering our ego. We can become more conscious of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors through self-reflection. We can see patterns and habits that are holding us back or hindering us from reaching our goals.
Numerous research have demonstrated the value of self-reflection. A study published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, for example, discovered that self-reflection can boost job performance and job happiness. Another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology discovered that self-reflection can increase self-awareness and lead to more accurate self-assessments.
Mindfulness methods such as meditation, in addition to self-reflection, can serve to develop the ego. Meditation has been demonstrated to improve self-awareness while also lowering stress, anxiety, and depression.
As a Buddhist monk, Haemin Sunim advocates viewing the ego as a servant rather than a master. He implies that if we learn to regulate our ego, we may use it to our advantage. Rather than aiming to entirely erase our ego, we should work on channeling it productively.
Sunim emphasizes the significance of a healthy ego, claiming that "loving oneself is the beginning of a lifetime romance." Indeed, self-love is necessary for healthy self-esteem, which is required for living a satisfying life. We may find ourselves continually dealing with thoughts of poor self-worth if we do not have a healthy ego, which can be debilitating and lead to a lack of confidence.
Understanding the distinction between the ego and the self is another approach to harnessing and using the ego to our advantage. The self is the essence of who we are, whereas the ego is a fabrication generated by our perspective of ourselves. In this perspective, the ego is a tool we may use to manage the world around us, rather than an essentially negative force. Understanding this distinction allows us to work on developing a healthy relationship with our ego and using it to our benefit.
The ego paradox can be a tough idea to grasp, but it is critical to recognize that the ego is not intrinsically negative. We can harness our ego's power and use it to our benefit by attempting to have a good relationship with it. This entails knowing the difference between the ego and the self, as well as cultivating a healthy feeling of self-esteem. We can gain a better understanding of ourselves and live a more fulfilling and purposeful life by using these skills.
"You cannot love who you are if you detest the experiences that shaped you"
-Haemin Sunim.
In other words, because our ego is formed by our experiences and perceptions, we cannot afford to fight it and turn it against us.
It would be purely harmful and self-destructive to do so.
It is critical to keep your ego strong and well-cared for in order to live a more fulfilling existence. You can use your ego as a constructive force by balancing your thoughts and actions, rather than allowing it to be governed by your subconscious cravings. You may retain clarity and self-awareness through self-reflection and mindfulness techniques such as journaling, which can help you make better decisions and minimize the power of your subconscious cravings.
Carl Jung said:
"Only when you can look into your own heart can your vision become apparent. Who looks out the window dreams; who looks in the mirror awakens."
We can only completely comprehend ourselves and realize our greatest potential if we examine our own ideas and motives.
The Ego driven by the conscious mind (as it should be), is clear and powerful.
The Ego neglected by the conscious mind becomes influenced by subconscious urges and out of control.
Because it was not built and acknowledged.
Instead of viewing our ego as a negative force, we should seek to maintain equilibrium in our thoughts and behaviors.
"It is not death that a man should fear, but never beginning to live,"
-Marcus Aurelius
Thank u. By the influence of mainstream texts and videos, i spent a couple of years neglecting the ego and trying to erase it, which lead to unbelievable pain. We have to nurture our ego and live with him, he is our ally and will help us.
It's been decades since my bachelors in psychology, haven't thought about Freud in a while. I recall that the id is like the bad guy sitting on one shoulder while the superego is the good guy sitting on the other shoulder, and the ego is the person in between. Not sure if that's correct, but I tend to agree with the ego as a tool of the self, it feels correct. Also, and this is unrelated, but I'm a big believer in the emerging science of behavioral genetics. Thank you